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Bummers & Gummers
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| "Leicester sheep" drawing by Lokiko Hall |
A tree lawn is what some people call the strip between the sidewalk and the street, not a place to plant anything you want to eat. It gets blasted with exhaust fumes.
Way back at issue three (1994), someone asked Milo Life about mowing yards with animals. He pointed out a couple dozen reasons why people should only keep farm animals as lawnmowers if they want to share their lives with these animals and take good care of them. Because I see neglected farm animals fairly frequently, I feel this point can't be over-stressed. If you don't have the time and energy to be a good friend to your lawnmowing critters, then keep mowing your lawn with a mower. Further, if you have livestock for any amount of time you will soon come to regard all dogs with suspicion or alarm until they've proven to you that they can control themselves. There are many dogs who, whether by breeding, disposition, or bad training, simply cannot be around farm animals. If your dog is not trainable to be livestock friendly, then you shouldn't have livestock or you shouldn't have that dog. Period. No amount of wishful thinking is going to change that.
Now, if you really don't like the concept of lawnmowers - which you shouldn't because lawn-mowers are exempt from pollution controls and any effort at fuel efficiency - there are some other alternatives for you to consider. Let's talk about a few other ways of getting around mowing.
Our first and favorite method for reducing the need for mowing is to put as much of your property under cultivation as possible. Figure out how much space you really need in grass (or mown off weeds) for outdoor activities, then turn the rest into a place to grow vegetables, flowers, and fruit trees. (See endnote 1.) The more I hear about some of the big- time "organic" farms the more I wonder about them. (What are their land use policies? Are they located in a desert? If so, are they dry-farming? (Probably not.) If not, what are their standards for water use? Do you really want to know what now qualifies as non-synthetic fertilizer or pesticides?) Doing as much for yourself as you can is always best, psychically and physically; it's also the tastiest, even if many of your potatoes are small, the gophers are getting a big share of your carrots, and your tomatoes have blossom end rot from early fall rains - familiarity has a flavor and it's deep and rich and undoubtably nutritious, though perhaps not in a tangible way. If you have a surplus and you're so inclined, sell the extra (this could be a home-based income generator for you, especially if you've grown lots of flowers), otherwise, give it away.
Do keep in mind soup kitchens and shelters when you're giving away surplus. It's often easier to take all your surplus in a few big hauls to the nearest shelter than to parcel it out among your friends, especially if your friends look in the bag and say things like, "You mean I have to wash this stuff myself?" or "You know, I've never been very fond of green beans." Zuchinis? Soup kitchen.
The next idea would be reconverting as much of your property as possible into native vegetation. After the conversion there should be less annual labor (certainly no tilling and hopefully far less weeding) than with a garden. I was at a friend's house on the edge of Eugene whose wooded yard had no grass to mow anywhere. Enviable, except that no light could get down through the trees for a garden. There was hardly anything more than a few leggy dandelions and some light-starved violets there. That suited the people there just fine, which goes to show that everyone's anti-lawn agenda plan should be based on what they like to spend their time doing. Japanese-style rock gardens are an option for the more artistic types who can get excited about big sculpture projects. Designating a piece of your land, however small, to go wild is always good, so long as you do not allow your little wilderness to be a breeding ground for all the pernicious weeds in your area (like English Ivy, Himalayan Blackberry, and Bindweed, to name only three). Dandelions, are never a pernicious weed. All parts are edible. (See endnote 2.)
I have never understood why anyone wastes water on grass, unless you're feeding animals with the stuff. In the Pacific Northwest, where there's a wet season and a dry season, you can get away with mowing two or three times in the spring. Then one or two more times between when the rains first start and when everything stops growing for the winter. Although it wouldn't surprise me to learn that there are (extra) benighted places in America possessing laws to compel people to water your grass, just as there towns have laws to compel you to cut it.
Now that you've reduced the number of times you need to mow possibly to four and the area by a lot, you can think about how much you really need that mower. At this point many suburban and urban people could maintain what remains of their lawn - and their physical fitness - better with a good old-fashioned motorless real mower or a scythe. The real mower would be for people who want their grass short and neat. While the scythe would be for those laid-back slackers who will allow the lawn to grow to its maximum legal height between cuttings. In Yoncalla the grass has to be ten inches tall before bothersome neighbors can sic the city on you. There is now available a new scythe, the Marugg, that is much lighter than the old ones you can get for $5 at a barn sale. The handle weighs just one and a half pounds. Besides the hypnotic moving meditation of scything, a scythe is much easier for you to sharper yourself than a reel mower, but you will need to do it more often. (See endnote 3.)
Ah, what a smile it brings to my face to imagine streets full of cityfolk scything the tiny remnants of their lawns, surrounded by hedgerows (see endnote 4) of fruiting shrubs, while among their veggies bloom robust and brilliant beds of cultivar dandelions! I could go on to envision the little pay-by-the- honor-system veggie booths at the edge of every driveway and shelters brimming with food and flowers, but enough wild-eyed fantasies: let's get back to sheep and geese.
Sheep need to be sheared, unless you got yours very young or already sheared and you're not keeping it for more than a season. They need to be sheared every year, and sheepshearers will put your two sheep at the verymost bottom of their list, if they'll even bother to give you a call back. Count on having to do your sheep yourself. Sheep should not be neglected to the point where they have to shear themselves by rubbing off their shabby old coat long after they sweltered through the worst of the heat with them on.
Sheep also need their feet trimmed. This is easy to learn to do, but thinking of sheep feet makes me also think of foot rot, a common problem with sheep in a climate such as ours from October to May. Maybe you won't have sheep in the wet months, but just having animals means you might have to doctor them at some point. Be prepared upon welcoming your new household members either to learn new skills for home health care or to pay vet bills.
For both sheep and geese, I recommend getting a book on whichever you're leaning toward and doing some reading first. The book will likely start you to thinking about such additional practicalities as "for which breed am I best suited?" (See booklist at end.)
For sheep you're going to keep a long time you'll want to think about such things as can you pick it up by yourself and toss it back over the fence? (Swaledales, Icelandics) Does it have nice wool? Does the wool felt? (The wool from Downs breeds cannot be used for felting.) Will it look good in the afterlife? Jacobs sheep have multiple horns (very cool skulls), plus their wool comes in two colors. They're a little on the smaller side of average for sheep but they are also more inclined to browse as well as graze. How about no wool to worry about at all? (Barbados) See what I mean about learning about breeds?
Also, there are other animals that east grass that are even smaller, quieter, and more pet-like than sheep and geese. Rabbits and guinea pigs will trim your lawn to a uniform height an inch. My daughter has two rabbits who at this moment are mowing 18 square feet of lawn per day. I'll leave the calculating to you, but twenty rabbits should suffice for a quarter acre. And again you have a possible source of income: pets or meat. Rabbit is the true "other white meat." Tastes a lot like chicken and you get a clean carcass with a lot less hassle: no scalding, no plucking. Nor can you ever make a snuggly soft quilt out of chicken skins. (I also have a friend who is interested in introducing guinea pigs to the North American diet.) Certainly with rabbits and guinea pigs you have numerous helpers to dispose of your garden waste. But, alas, your town may have a number limit on animals regardless of their size (in Yoncalla it's six of any one kind) and if they're out in the yard, their numbers will be noticed.
As for geese, they're really easy to get for nothing. (See endnote 5.) But if you decide you want to shop around for the goose that's right for you there is, for instance, a breed of goose that is particularly noted for being "quiet and gentle" as well as smaller than many other geese: it's the Roman Tufted. (See endnote 6.) Other specialty breeds may require special care (Sebastopols and Egyptians). Your aesthetics may incline you to being willing to provide that extra care. Some breeds are going to be harder to find than others. Mongrel geese and mixed breed sheep will always be easy to come by. Patience and putting the word out should get you all you need at no initial cost.
If you do choose geese and your neighbor does not snap suddenly in the middle of the night and shoot them and/or you, another advantage to geese is that they will help you take care of any fruit trees you might have. Geese will happily tidy up your windfall, bruised, and overripe fruit, thereby keeping down your populations of yellow jackets, who can get ornery that time of year. Not surprisingly, some breeds are better foragers than others.
For the safety of your geese it should also be noted that raccoons are fully capable of taking down a goose. (Hell, raccoons eat cats.) Your pen should be adequate to withstand prolonged assault, should a determined raccoon realize you've got geese.
For the safety of kids and creatures small enough to get hurt by a goose, same-sex goose couples work especially well when the geese are a mated pair of females. While some will find it heartrending watching them trying to hatch a clutch of eggs year after year, you can fix this by using the eggs in baking. (Goose eggs are too big and elastic for most people to enjoy by themselves, but they make good omelettes and frittatas. See endnotes 7 and 8.) Whereas a couple of ganders can sometimes become murderously protective of their "nest." One gander of a gander couple we once had leaped upon a duck that happened to pass too close and nearly sawed the poor girl's head off before I pried the villain off. We ate both ganders with celerity.
This dovetails nicely into my parting piece of goose advice. The easiest way that I've found to catch a goose is to get yourself a quilt, comforter, or thick blanket at the thrift store. Spread the quilt wide and walk the goose into a convenient corner. Drop the quilt and yourself over the goose and quickly pin its wings to its side so it doesn't hurt itself or make your ears ring. If you're going to cook your goose, you can keep it securely wrapped in the quilt while you dispatch it.
Some Books to Try:
Storey's Guide to Raising Sheep (earlier version titled Raising Sheep the Modern Way)
by Paula Simmons and Carol Ekarius
Storey Communications
Barnyard in Your Backyard: A Beginner's Guide to Raising Chickens, Ducks, Geese, Rabbits, Goats, Sheep, and Cows
by Gail Damerow
Storey Communications.
Storey publishes many DIY books for crafts and farm skills, as well as nature observation. Storey Communications, 210 Mass MoCa Way, North Adams MA 01247, 413-346-2100.
The Book of Geese
by Dave Holderread
Hen House Publications
P.O. Box 492
Corvallis, OR 97339.
(Not only can you get geese - and ducks! - from Holderread himself, but his book tells you most things you need to know about keeping geese, describes breed types, and has five pages of recipes, mostly for goose eggs.
Endnotes:
1. In b&g no. 4 and 5, Hymie Holdman described the conversion
of his one-fourth acre suburban Minneapolis lot into an orchard with 30 varieties of fruit and nut trees along with beds of
herbs, flowers, and vegetables. (There are no available
issues of 4&5, but I can make copies of this article for
anyone interested. Just write or e-mail me. Something to
consider, though: depending on your location and its
history, you may wish to get a soil survey done. (Do you
think all the lead that was being sprayed out of the ass-
end of cars up until a while ago has gone away? It hasn't.)
In places like Ohio the rain (THE RAIN!) has 8 to 31 times
the US and state "safe levels" of mercury, because of coal-
burning electric plants. The report I read concentrated on
contamination of fish and water, it didn't even begin to
address how much mercury was building up in soil. When I
lived in DC (very briefly) we tested the soil before
planting and found it was way over the limit for lead. We
planted flowers. While it is possible to draw some of the
poisons out of the ground, that would be a very involved
article, and the plants you used to draw the poison would
have to go somewhere.
2. I love dandelions. There are never enough dandelions
around here, although there are plenty of "faux dandelions"
(Hairy Cat's Ear - Hypochaeris radicata), which are only
good if you're a goat. Hairy Cat's Ear blooms in the summer
and has a long season. Dandelions are some of the earliest
spring flowers and therefore make great early salad and
sandwich greens. I've been meaning to get some packets of
dandelion seeds. I haven't made dandelion wine yet, and our
soil could definitely use a deep massage by those taproots.
3. Marugg scythes and reel mowers are both available
through Lehman's, which specializes in homestead wares.
Phone: 888-438-5346 or go to www lehmans.com. Phone number
for Marugg is 931-592-5042.
4. Edible privacy fencing! Wildlife habitat! Hummingbird
feeding station! See Milo Life's column regarding
hummingbirds.
5. Which may serve as a warning to you: why are people so
hot to get rid of their geese?
6. I don't have any experience with Roman Tufted Geese.
Years of living with a mongrel crew of mostly Pilgrims has
caused me to think of the phrase "quiet goose" as an
oxymoron. It never bothered me to be awakened every night,
sometimes several times, by geese crying some alarm or
another. I like interrupted sleep; it allows me to
appreciate the night more. Oddly enough, I haven't found
many people who share this predilection.
7. If you or people you know do Solstice/Christmas trees,
goose eggs make fairly sturdy ornaments. After blowing many
goose eggs orally (usually acquiring one headache per egg),
I discovered that blowing them with a foot pump is the way
to go. To hang a goose-egg ornament, pass embroidery floss
or some decorative metallic string, through a small two-
holed button and then use a very long needle or a piece of
wire to thread the floss through the egg.
8. If you don't want eggs you can let them set a clutch
immediately. The laying female will only put out 12 or 14
eggs this way, which you will have to dispose of very
carefully sometime before they get so ripe they explode. If
you remove the eggs regularly for your own use, you may get
as many as 40 to 90 before the geese abandon all hope for
the year.
You may e-mail bummers &gummers at loki@bummersandgummers.com
bummers & gummers is a 'hand-crafted,' alternative country life zine celebrating working animals and do-it-yourselfself resourcefulness. You may get the complete bummers & gummers experience by subscribing. Send $10 and your name and address to... bummers & gummers
po box 66
Yoncalla, Oregon 97499
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