Dr. Addy Gabby is back! She is taking a sabbatical from a research team that studies environmentally caused (pollution) birth defects of wild salmon in the Willamette River and is giving advice to anyone who will listen. Her big mouth and common sense are her only qualifications but we figure that will do. -Editor.

Advice for the Clueless

by Dr. Addy Gabby, Ph.D. in Ichthyology

Dr. Addy Gabby Gray at two years old. "From the mouth of babes..."

Dear Dr. Addy Gabby,

Enclosed you will find a wedding invitation for my remarriage to "that idiot" I love so well. The wedding will over by the time you get this, so it will save you gas money. (Of course, the train doesn't run to the coast from the populated Willamette Valley.) So you can send me the money you save by not coming. Bippy and I have know each other so well through the years. There is no one else who can fight so fair and sweetly make-up like Bippy. Also Bippy and I have grown up a lot since we were married before. Neither of us has met anyone else we really care about. So, sister, what do you think? Should Bippy and me get hitched again?
Dingy in Deadwood

Dear old Dingy,

I am afraid you are not kidding. Why would you remarry that idiot when it failed the first time? Aren't we supposed to learn from our mistakes? Thank God you live in a country and era where divorce is legal. Much human misery could have been avoided if that were so before. Yes, there is a tendency in our society to "give in" to our personal feelings and not consider the whole picture. But most people get divorced for a good reason. I just wished they used their reason before they took their vows. If people listened to their minds, not their hormones, a lot of lawyers would be out of work. I suppose you are happy for now. I'll be hoping for the best for you.
P.S. Here is a check for two bucks -- I'm driving a hybrid car now.

Dear Dr. Addy Gabby,
I wrote you last year about my logger son who belonged to a Woodfairies Association. I was upset I wouldn't have grandchildren. All the other ladies at the beauty pallor have nice photos of their grandchildren. All I had to brag about was a photo of a unbrushed hound dog. You said the important thing was hoping he found a loving partner to go through life with. Well, I want to tell you my son has a special friend I'll call Pete. They are very happy. They had a lovely church ceremony vowing to be partners for life. But nobody knew where to sit because there were two mothers of the grooms. It all worked out. Now "the boys" are talking about adoption. I want to have a grandchild but do gay men make good role models for children?

I Want to Die a Grandmother

Dear I Want to Die a Grandmother,
It looks like you may have your chance to be a grandmother. I think your job is to be supportive as possible. The more extended family a child has, the better the chance she or he will see various role models as part of her life and learn from them. And new parents need lots of emotional support and occasional time off. The personal sex life of parents should be personal whether or not the parents are "straight" or "gay". But being able to show affection is necessary to pattern healthy growth for a child. Might a child be influenced? Perhaps to a small degree --most likely that child will be tolerant to gay people. Most scientists agree, it is a matter of nature not nurture that gives gays their homosexuality. The important factors people need to bring to the job of becoming parents are a mature love and ability to care for the child. Straight or gay, parenting is not easy. It is the most important job in the world and many people and institutions only pay lip service to it.
Also think about the "pool" of children who desperately need a permanent home. It is criminal that so many hundreds of thousands kids are unloved and uncared for right in Canada and the USA. If a mature, loving and financially able adult wants to adopt, I'm all for it. I hope you will support that new parent within a web of multi-generational family. Take a look at
pflag.org a support group for Parents and Family of Lesbians and Gays. org

Dear Dr. Addy Gabby,
Every year, every season, I am sending gifts to my grandchildren, usually a check since I don't know what they like or dislike. And it really frosts me that they can't bother to take a minute or two to send an acknowledgment, let alone a letter. Even an e-mail thank you would be acceptable to me. As it is, I hear nothing most of the time. Sometimes my own children will forge the "kiddies" signature! Once in a while, I will get a "form" letter. Big deal. This rebellious grandfather has had it. In the future, if I am not too busy to think of it, I'll send a card with good wishes. Period. If I remember to do that as I am very busy with my social life referring dog shows, flirting with the girls and writing my memoirs on that damned and useful machine, the computer. MY time is precious and limited. So I say to all parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, REBEL! Show these selfish monsters "I am not a money machine. You want some money, go to your own ATM."
Disgusted in Drain

Dear Disgusted,
I feel for you. Especially if you've got money in your pocket. Send me a copy of your memoirs. Perhaps people, especially younger ones, will realize it is necessary to acknowledge a gift. Of course, many gifts are not monetary. Many people give of their time and talent. And that, too, is often not appreciated. Dear Reader, please write a personal note of thanks when someone thinks enough of you to "even" send a card. If you serve on a board and a fellow member's term has expired, send a note of appreciation. If a friend stops by to visit or shop for you you when you are ill, let them know you appreciate it. It is the little kindnesses that make life special.

© Spencer Creek Press, West By Northwest 2000-2002 All Rights Reserved unless otherwise noted.

The opinions expressed by the authors are not necessarily the opinions of the publisher and/or sponsors.



West by Northwest
Spencer Creek Press
PO Box 51251
Eugene OR 97405

West By Northwest

Voices of Peace, Volume V
Dr. Andreas Toupadakis' Notebook
W.H. Auden's poem September 1, 1939
Sam Smith of the Progressive Review writes Nobody Left But Us
Robert Jenson explains why extraordinary Corporate Power Is the Enemy of Our Democracy
DynCorp is Something to Watch
Norman Solomon on New Media Heights For A Remarkable Pundit, Pentagon's Silver Lining May Be Bigger Than Cloud, and Six Months Later, The Basic Tool Is Language
Patrick Morris, actor and director writing on the theatre's Hourglass Challenge
Marvelous Margaret Mead Traveling Film & Video Festival
World Choral Music
Photographer and web designer Stephen Voss
Stephanie Korschun's Insect Drawings, a class apart.
That Photo Guy,
Barbara S. Thompson's My Life chronicles a journey of courage by a real story teller, Chapter 3.
Mary Zemke of Stop Cogentrix says "Standing tall - Opposition floods the proposed Grizzly Power Plant."
Norman Maxwell writes to the Editor - a Summary of the Fire Road Preservation Struggle.
Patricia Frank tackles Spring Cleaning the Closet.
Lois Barton's Sunnyside of Spencer Butte finds the Heron Rookery.
M.G. Hudson's Spencer Creek Journal remembers Laddie and the baby goats as the war on terrorism affects Spencer Creek Valley
Ryan Ramon's Life on the 45th Parallel, Rain & Ramallah.
WxNW.org Web-Wise Links
DEN, from Defenders of Wildlife.


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